Nonverbal communication can make or break a relationship. A single glance can spark an argument, while a simple touch on the shoulder can mend wounded pride. And sometimes, the sting of words is easier to bear than the weight of crushing silence. There’s power in what goes unspoken.
We’re here to look at the influence of nonverbal communication on interpersonal relationships. Because when it comes down to it, how you say something matters as much as what you say, whether you’re talking with friends, family or the person you love most.
What Is Nonverbal Communication?
Nonverbal communication refers to any form of unspoken communication, often taking the form of hand gestures and facial expressions—but it doesn’t stop there. Every glance, posture, and movement you make has an invisible meaning.
How Does Nonverbal Communication Affect Interpersonal Relationships?
Nonverbal communication adds an extra layer of meaning to everything we say, potentially clarifying or muddying the message. It’s what makes many conversations so engaging and emotionally resonant. And when it comes to relationships, these silent cues help us:
Clarify the message: When nonverbal and verbal communication align, misunderstandings fade, and underlying messages become clear. If you’re in a relationship and you don’t have a secret way to signal to your partner that you want to leave a party, you’re missing out.
Express emotions: Nonverbal communication helps us convey joy, frustration, sadness, or excitement. Sometimes, words fail us, like when someone chokes up telling their partner they love them. The message is nonetheless received through the stream of tears.
Build trust: Open body language—maintaining eye contact, uncrossing your arms, and giving head nods and other signals that you’re paying attention—is a subtle way to build rapport, making relationships stronger without exchanging a word.
Nonverbal Communication: When Wires Are Crossed
Not all nonverbal cues are as overt as a slap to the face. Take microexpressions: subtle facial expressions that come and go in as little as one-fifteenth of a second. Though unconscious, microexpressions and other nonverbal cues still have a significant influence on our relationships. Here’s a look at the unintended consequences of nonverbal communication:
Ambiguity and Misinterpretation: Nonverbal signals are open to interpretation, and that interpretation might not always be accurate. Crossing your arms could signal that you’re defensive or closed off when you’re actually standing too close to an AC vent.
Manipulation and Deception: Nonverbal communication can be harmful and even dangerous in the wrong hands. A steady gaze while telling a lie or a forced smile are subtle tricks that can deceive even the sharpest observer. Anyone who’s lost at a social deduction game like “One Night Ultimate Werewolf” knows what we’re talking about.
Emotional Leakage: Not everyone has a good poker face. A clenched fist, furrowed brow, or flicker of sadness in the eyes are all signs that betray emotions we’d often rather keep locked away. Try though we might, our expressions often give away the truth.
Cultural Differences: Facial expressions are universal, regardless of race, culture, or nationality. A smile is a smile the world over. Gestures and other nonverbal cues, on the other hand, vary across cultures and could get you in trouble if you’re not careful. For instance, flash the “OK’ sign in France or Germany and you might have a fight on your hands.
How Does Nonverbal Communication Play Out in Your Life?
Worried about how nonverbal communication is affecting your interpersonal relationships? Start by taking a long look at your interactions with others. Notice how you carry yourself when you’re happy versus when you’re frustrated (and try not to cross your arms so much). Think about how your tone changes, rising or falling with the weight of your emotions.
Now that so much of our interpersonal communication has shifted online, being mindful of your nonverbal habits is more important than ever. Your tone and expressions speak volumes online, especially during video conferences—Don’t think for a second that no one’s watching your Zoom square during big meetings. Drop an emoji to punctuate your messages. Better yet, send a voice instead of a text. That way, you know your messages land the way you intend.
You should also consider how you react to other people’s nonverbal cues. During conversations, try to remain patient and observant. And before you assume someone’s crossed arms or lack of eye contact is a sign of disinterest, ask yourself, “what are they really feeling?” When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, conversations and relationships in general become a whole lot easier.
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Sources:
https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/nonverbal-communication
https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-nonverbal-communication-2795397