Weddings hold profound significance, no matter where you are in the world.  

Snag an invite to an Indian wedding and you’ll be partying for three days. Attend a Hungarian wedding and you’ll notice the bride slip into a red dress, called a menyecske ruha, at midnight. And at a Congolese wedding, don’t be shocked if the newlyweds don’t crack a smile; their stone-cold expressions symbolize their commitment. 

Then there’s the traditional American wedding, a time-honored tradition that’s incomplete without a painfully awkward speech, an over-the-top first dance, and at least one tearful relative singing along to Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years.”  

Today, we’ll explore the sociology of American weddings. Because a wedding isn’t just a relationship milestone; it’s a ceremony shaped by hundreds of years of tradition and society’s ever-evolving expectations. By the end, you’ll know the why behind the white dress, the price tag, and the need to have single women elbow each other for a bouquet that likely won’t change their relationship status.  

The Evolving Role of Marriage in Society  

Once upon a time, love had nothing to do with marriage.  

Marriages during the Middle Ages, for example, were often arranged for political, economic, or social gain. Couples had little say in the matter and seldom met before tying the knot. (Consider this our pitch for “Love Is Blind: Medieval Europe.”) 

It’s not until the Victorian era that we begin to see some semblance of the modern wedding: white wedding dresses, massive wedding cakes, and elaborate floral arrangements. Still, love wouldn’t become the primary driver until much, much later.  

The Modern Wedding 

Today, marriage rates have plummeted — down 60% since 1970. Romantic relationships no longer need a stamp of approval from an ordained minister. And yet, weddings have become more elaborate, more expensive, and more deeply ingrained in American culture.  

The 2024 Global Wedding Report reveals that the average U.S. wedding: 
 

  • Takes 15-16 months to plan. 
  • Requires 14 vendors to pull off. 
  • Has 115 guests, costing about $300 per person. 
  • Comes with a $35,000 price tag (not including the honeymoon). 

This isn’t medieval Europe. No one’s forcing anyone to have their destination wedding in Napa Valley or book a tattoo artist for their reception. So why do so many couples, young and old, jump through so many hoops to say, “I do?”  

The Wedding Paradox  

Sociologists call this the wedding paradox: Weddings are becoming more prominent and extravagant while the social need for marriage is fading. Moreover, weddings are far more personal, with brides and grooms turning to Instagram, Pinterest, and TikTok for inspiration on how to make their wedding truly their own.  

What does this say about us as a society?  

Our Need to Stand Out From the Crowd 

At the heart of the wedding paradox is individualism. If marriage is no longer required for social acceptance, then it becomes a lifestyle choice. And couples have run with it, turning weddings into statements that showcase their personalities and (let’s be honest) success for all the world to see.  

Couples (mostly brides, whom most bridal media outlets assume oversee the planning, organization, and management of the wedding) are free to piece together their dream wedding, deciding which traditions to keep and which to ditch.  

And yet, for all the focus on unique details, most weddings still follow the same basic script: 

  • Walking down the aisle. 
  • Wearing a bridal gown. 
  • Giving rings. 
  • Exchanging vows.  
  • Sharing a kiss.  
  • Cutting a cake. 
  • Hearing speeches.  
  • Throwing the bouquet.  

There’s No Shaking Tradition 

If weddings were only about individualism, everyone would get married in a bounce castle: the one true romantic venue. In reality, to create their dream wedding, couples often rely on—and consequently reaffirm—traditions they may or may not agree with.  

Pulling off the perfect wedding requires time and energy, not to mention one hell of a social battery. So, couples often fall back on traditional wedding norms, such as accepting help from family, only looking at white dresses, or settling on a church.  

We haven’t even mentioned the guests, each of whom has their own expectations: I already have a dress picked out. Will there be an open bar? What do you mean no kids? Love it or hate it, brides and grooms are more likely to be socially accepted if they meet these expectations, ridiculous though some may be.  

The Gendered Reality of Wedding Planning 

If you’ve ever picked up a bridal magazine, you already know the assumed wedding planner: the bride. From researching vendors to scheduling cake tastings to finalizing themes, women are expected to do the heavy lifting. And if—heaven forbid—they show stress, they’re labeled a bridezilla.  

Even as weddings evolve, gender roles remain deeply ingrained. And while many brides scoff at tradition, they often accept other potentially outdated or patriarchal practices. The vast majority of women in opposite-sex marriages, for example, take their spouse’s last name. 

What Sociology Teaches Us About Weddings 

We’re not here to ruin weddings for you! Love will always be worth celebrating. And for many couples, especially same-sex couples, marriage isn’t just about romance; it’s about family, legal rights, and social acceptance.  

All we’re saying is that modern weddings come with a lot of baggage, from the pressure to uphold traditional values to the need to put on an Instagram-worthy spectacle. It’s a clown car of tradition, individualism, and consumerism.  

So why do couples, especially brides, go along with it? Sociology offers the simplest answer: People just want to fit in.  

Interested in Sociology?  

There’s so much more to sociology and weddings than we can do justice to here, and we encourage you to read more on the subject, especially if you plan on tying the knot anytime soon.   

If you’re fascinated by sociology (like we are!), check out our online Bachelor of Arts in Sociology program. This fully online program covers everything from women’s studies to social stratification, while equipping you with vital skills that will help you flourish in your career.  

We’ve talked a lot about social pressures, so we’re not going to push our sociology program too hard. We’re just going to leave this link to our Apply page and hope you join us when the time’s right.  

Sources: 
https://www.vogue.com/article/wedding-traditions-from-around-the-world
https://historytimelines.co/timeline/wedding-
https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-954X.12366
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1360780421990021